Today, I was going through some CDs being donated to the libary, but that I needed to grab some songs off of. One of them was a Billy Joel Greatest Hits album and the title song above was one of them.
When I hear it, it reminds me of a very specific time in my life. I was a freshman in college. I had a group of friends in high school but most of them went away for school and I stayed in our home town for the first year because I really couldn't afford to do anything else. So I was basically starting out on my own for the first time in 12 years. I didn't know hardly anyone at my school and I actually kind of liked it. Growing up in a small town led to years of knowing the same kids, what to expect and how to get by. Now, it was all new and no one knew me or expected something specific from me.
I started to make decisions on my own. I started to spend time doing some things that I either didn't know I was interested in before or had put on the back burner because they didn't fit into my life. I left my high school job at McDonald's and started driving for Domino's pizza. I would deliver to the college dorms and started to meet a few people that lived there or worked with me at Domino's from the school. My confidence began to grow as I made friends.
I worked parttime at a boat yard at the lake teaching/renting sailboats. I made new friends there. I started to get noticed by boys that I didn't grow up with and this was a huge boost to my self esteem and body image...I think this was the first time since puberty that I felt like my body was cute. I learned how to flirt and enjoyed the reaction I could create. I never thought I was ugly growing up but I always thought I was fat, even when I was playing soccer year around.
I started playing soccer with the club team at the school and was the only girl on the team. I became the "little sis" to everyone on the team and it felt great to have a bunch of friends that I could count on.
Okay, so back to the song. During this time, one of the players developed a crush on me but I didn't know it. His name was Kevin and he was a defender like me. He was really nice and we were friends outside of soccer but I didn't know how he felt about me. We hung out all the time, went to dinners and I even went to see his trio play at the local restaurants.
At one point, I was over at his place, talking to him about this other boy I had a crush on...disappointed I believe because I had just discovered that he had a girlfriend back in his home town. It was hard on me because he also played soccer with us on occasion and so I would see him more than my heart could take. I confessed this all to Kevin not knowing how he felt about him.
The next week, he called me, telling me that we needed to meet. He had some news for me. So I met with him. He gave me this note and a cassette tape he had made for me. This Billy Joel song was one of the songs on there. I listened to the tape and read the note...I was shocked. I had no idea. I felt horrible for having confessed my feelings for this other boy to him knowing how much it must have hurt him. Problem was that I didn't feel the same for him as he felt for me. He had told me he loved me and would always love me. I didn't know how to react and thankfully because it was in a letter and on a tape, I didn't have to react face to face but eventually I did have to face him. He had said in the letter that he knew I didn't feel the same as him but that was okay, he still loved me and wanted to be my friend. It changed everything. We were never that close again.
The tape had some really awesome songs on it, and I listened to it long after Kevin was not in my life anymore but now, I always think of him and that time in my life when I finally realized the effect I might have on a boy and how that could be a good and a bad thing anytime I hear songs off that tape.
I wonder if I have the tape somewhere??? Knowing me, I have the letter somewhere in storage...but I am not sure about the tape.
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Two Years Ago on In My Words...Blog Passwords
Saturday, May 24, 2008
She's Always A Woman
Friday, May 23, 2008
Starbucks
I know I mentioned this in passing once.....there is a new Starbucks within a mile of my house. This is both good and bad. The good is that sometimes you just need it, and it is within walking distance so I rarely ever drive there....it motivates me to walk there even if I am meeting friends (which we do almost every Friday). It is also good because I have stock in Starbucks so seeing the company do well is reassuring to me....(I only have a few shares through TD Ameritrade so I am not a huge stock holder...haha).
The bad is that it is so close the temptation is always there. It also (along with the gazillion other stores that opened in the same area this month) causes a bit of traffic on the intersection we have to deal with on a daily basis. Good news on that front is that I am discovering work arounds....
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One Year Ago on In My Words...Back In The Land Of The Living
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thankful This Thursday
Continuing project...this week's thanks are:
I am thankful for our families as a whole. When J and I got married, our families barely knew each other because his mostly lived in California and mine was in Oregon. Now a large majority of his lives in Oregon and they all see each other occasionally. Having them centrally located has made things so nice for J and I because we want to spend as much time with them as we can when we are in town. Whenever we have get togethers in the States, it makes it easy to invite everyone to one function and see all of them at one time...it makes for great pictures too. Both of our families have been very supportive to us. They are there when we need them and are understanding of the distance we all usually have to live with. We would not be as successful as we are in our daily lives if it wasn't for them.
I am thankful for my friends here in Japan. We are all thrown together in different circumstances but manage to make the best of being far from our families. This summer a few of my friends are moving to new places and while I will be sad to see them go, I am excited for them to start a new adventure in a new place. Being that we have left this place before and a different set of friends then, we know how life can be completely cyclic and that we aren't going to be saying goodbye, just see you later.
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Three Years Ago on In My Words...Party's Over
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
How Often
do you get to see this side of a moth? They are hatching and breeding down the street on these particular trees (I am not sure if they are fig or olive). This moth in particular hung out on my slider for most of the day. The other night I came home and there were 6 of them on the sliders throughout the livingroom and tatami room. It is kind of cool to see so many of them but I am sad because the hatching/breeding is going on close to the road and I am sure there are lots of casualties to the road as well.
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Two Years Ago on In My Words...We Be Wireless
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
How Is It?
These are two of the current ads in the sidebar of my blog. Do you see anything wrong with this? How is it that the powers that be at Google would think that these two ads would go together on the page, much less right next to each other?
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Three Years Ago on In My Words...Baggers
Monday, May 19, 2008
Tropical Storm Halong Update
Well, now we are not in the ship avoidance area so we probably won't get much from this, assuming it stays on course. We are getting some rain and wind today but nothing too bad. The strongest winds we'll get will be this evening into tomorrow. It will be at typhoon strength by then but far enough away that we mostly won't feel it.
It is a good day to stay inside and tackle some projects that have been put off because of nice weather and the desire to be outside....haha.
I am continuing to eat soup but I am hoping to be done with that today as well..we'll see though because I still have quite a bit of it left.
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Three Years Ago on In My Words...Ten Years of Mishka
Happy Birthday Aunt L!!!
For me it was yesterday but for her, it is today....I hope you have a great birthday and you are able to relax and celebrate with family and friends. Don't think about school for at least a few hours, okay?
We love you and wish we could be there.
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Two Years Ago on In My Words...Happy Birthday Aunt L
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Tropical Storm Halong
Well, this one looks like it won't hit us directly but it will skirt by us pretty close and will be at typhoon strength when it does. I might tie down some of the lighter stuff in my yard today in prep for tomorrow's gusts.
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One Year Ago on In My Words...Reflections at Weymouth Woods Rerserve
As cyclone refugees wait, Myanmar refuses aid - Yahoo! News
What is wrong with these people?
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One Year Ago on In My Words...Reunions
