Wednesday, August 04, 1999

Goodbye

The weirdest thing happened to me this morning.

I was lying in bed sleeping, not completely, but trying. It was near 7:00am and I was home from work due to a sore throat.

I distinctly heard the sounds of footsteps coming down the stairs and walking towards the bedroom. I felt J kneel over me on the bed and rub his face in my hair very softly. I actually felt the pressure of him being there and all the sounds that would be associated with someone kneeling on the bed were there also. One of his hands was on my side over my body and I felt it there as if it were real.

I turned to look over my shoulder and opened my eyes and no one was there.

I looked at the clock.

(I had to stop writing because I was crying too hard. This felt like he was saying good bye to me. I know that this is what it would feel like if anything ever happened to him. I instantaneously started crying when this happened because I was sure that something bad had happened to him. I cried every time I thought about it the rest of the day and when I told my sister about it. It was horrible to not know if he was okay.)